Firstlight
by ZeonChar
Summary: Smith wakes up in Bane's body. What kind of experiences will be in store for him? Chapter 3 up!
1. Chapter One

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I've come to understand that bliss   
Is quite impossible and if   
I'll ever find a way   
I'll claim another life   


Bright lights assaulted his senses as he awoke. He was immediately aware or his new encasing. His eyes darted around the room as he inhaled his first real breath. The air coursed through his lungs filling every inch of him with sweet sense. The rest of the crew stood around him.

"My God Bane, that was a close call!" One of them said.

Bane, so that was his name. He pushed himself off the chair and rose to his full height. He stretched his hand out feeling every inch of himself. _I feel so trapped. _He thought immediately as he began to sweat anxiously. His eyes continued to dart around the room gathering every piece of information he could hold. 

"What happened down there?" Another said.

He looked towards her. "I..." He began to say as he used his voice for the first time. "I don't really know. Agents came and they almost had us." He made up decidedly.

He clenched his fists together as he stood in the middle of them. He didn't like this feeling. He didn't like it at all. He could feel the heart beating in his chest. That was interesting. It beat fast with anxiety. _ I feel so weak, I hate it! _He ground his teeth together feeling much like a trapped animal.

"I don't feel so good. I need to lay down." He partly lied wanting escape. The crew looked at him and nodded understandingly. He felt panicked. _I need to get out of here. The humans are all around me with their filth and sweat. I can smell them. I can smell them even more so then in the Matrix. This disgusts me! Look at this place! It's filthy; I hate it!_

He felt a nauseating feeling in his stomach rising as his vision blurred. He swayed as he felt the bile rise up in his throat. _What is this? Am I dying? Can this body not accept my program_? He suddenly puked all over the floor. _Oh disgusting. This body is rejecting me. _He dropped to the floor weak and sick. The crew members reacted in surprise.

"Bane!" One of them yelled. "Oh God, are you ok?" He said as he rushed to his side and grabbed his arm. 

"Take him to his bed." The captain said with worry. 

A woman rushed up to him and grabbed his other arm as they lifted him up.

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Their touching me! With their filthy sweat their touching me! Smith thought repulsively. 

The two crew members carried him into a small room and laid him down on a cot. They looked at each other worriedly and then one of them said, "We'll come back and check on you in a bit. Just try to get some rest; you've had a really trying experience. I'll bring you some water." And they left the room.

Smith laid on the cot with his eyes closed sucking in gasps of air; feeling sickened and repulsed. _This is going to take some getting used to. _He thought. As the words crossed his mind he felt himself slipping out of consciousness and losing control. He briefly struggled with it but his limbs felt sluggish and his eyes like lead. He eventually gave in as the blackness closed in around him.

It was a dream but he was not aware of it. He was walking down a lone city street. He looked all around him but it was barren and empty. He passed a window and caught his reflection. His normal appearance was back. _Good. _ He grinned inwardly. But then he stopped suddenly. _Wait. _He thought incredulously. _I feel Human. _Panic rose inside him. _What the hell is going on?_ He looked around anxiously and then down at himself. _Shit. _He growled to himself.

Suddenly he heard the crunch of a boot behind him. The sound was like a boulder falling in the stark empty streets. He spun around and saw the face of his enemy. Contempt welled up inside him and spread all across his face. 

Neo stood still in the empty street; hands to his side. He stood there and stared at Smith with complete serenity. 

Smith let a malicious grin spread across his face as he walked to face his enemy. He stopped in front of him and stared him down. "Mr. Anderson." He began to say but Neo was suddenly upon him as he threw a punch that sent Smith flying down the street. Smith crashed into a distant building. Panic and fear welled up inside Smith immediately. Something he had only once felt before in his life. The first time Neo destroyed him. _Where are the clones? _Smith thought panicked. _The clones should be here. They should be attacking Mr. Anderson right now. Where are they?!_

Before he could think another thought Neo was above him, fist careening into Smith's face. Over and over he pummeled Smith with no relent. Smith was helpless as he lay motionless on the ground. Neo grabbed smith by the collar and tossed him with force. He flew across the street and crashed through a window. He came to rest in an empty room. Smith had never felt so utterly and completely helpless in his life. In fact he was scared. Dead scared.

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I'm going to die. Smith though. _He's going to kill me. _Neo came floating up to the hole in the window. Smith saw him and his heart froze in his chest. An evil grin slowly spread across Neo's face and Smith screamed. 

His scream reverberated through the halls of the ship as the crew members came running to his quarters. They threw upon the door and saw him screaming upon his cot. One of them grabbed him and shook him hard. "Bane! Bane!" He yelled as he shook him. 

Smith came back into reality his blue eyes opened wide with fright. "What happened?" He choked on his words. Sweat dripping down his entire body. "It was just a dream." The man said to him concernedly. "Dream?" Smith echoed. Suddenly realization spread across him face. "Yes of course." He said. "Just a dream." The other man nodded and then patted him. 

The humans left the room as Smith laid back down on his cot. Anger boiled up inside of him. This was an emotion he was well acquainted with. For he often felt anger towards Humans, The Matrix, his existence. But the anger he had felt as a machine had never felt such as this. He put his hand to his heart. The anger burned inside his chest. He imagined such as fire would. He gripped his shirt hard and inhaled deeply as he let the anger course through him. He felt it run through every vein in his body.

A dream? He thought. The machines were well aware of the Human dream but could never quite understand it. Never quite grasp it. He supposed in a way the Matrix was like a dream. They existed in a subconscious world created by the machines. So in a way they existed in their own mind. Or the self that was them in the Matrix was a projection of their real self. The machines were aware that when a human dreamed they left the Matrix. For a while the machines had a hard time understanding where they went. But it was noted that they always returned when they awoke. It was concluded their subconscious returned to the body during sleep and resided in the deepest recesses of the mind. In a way living out their own personal Matrix. How is it decided upon what is dreamed of? Smith never would have thought of such a silly question when he was still in the Matrix but this bothered him now. He never thought a dream could be so real. He never thought he could be capable of dream. He didn't like it at all. 

His eyes closed tightly as he remembered his experience. _Anderson, _He growled. Hate and anger welled up again inside of his chest. _If I can't kill you in the Matrix then I will kill you in this world. You will not hide from me. I will make you suffer. I will make you pay. _

He squeezed his fists tightly as his fingernails dug into his flesh. Pain, he thought. He dug his fingernails harder into his palms as blood started to trickle out of the wound. _This human body is so frail. Disgusting. How easy it would be for us to destroy them all. Crush these complex bags of blood in to the dust. Kill them all. _

Smith realized that to destroy all humans would mean the destruction of his kind as well but he did not care. He wanted to fade away from this wretched existence. But before he did that he wanted to kill them all first. Destroy everything and leave nothing behind. Not man. Not machine. 

He sat there with vengeance in his heart and decided he liked that feeling. 

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More chapters to come!


	2. Chapter Two

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Pounding heart you shake me   
I have never been so close   
To an earthquake   
Take my word I'm trembling   
For I know   
What I have felt   


Smith lay on his cot, eyes closed. He didn't care to face any more of human existence at this moment. He just wanted to blank out. Forget everything for a while before he had to start doing it all over again. His eyes fluttered as images swirled through his head. So many thoughts, even images and light! Could he not escape this reality even with his eyes closed? 

In the Matrix his thoughts had always been together and concise. Just like a machine, of course. But now thoughts whirled around without direction or purpose. He couldn't keep track of them. Even emotion and feeling, which was taking a while to get used to, bombarded him with no remorse. He noticed that certain thoughts drew certain reactions. He _felt _differently at some thoughts then others. _How am I going to be able to stand this? _Smith thought. He felt as if he were breaking into a million pieces. The human body was too irrational. The human body was going to destroy him. Unless, he could get it under control. _But how?_ He pondered feverishly as he clutched at the sides of his skull with his hands. He pressed his fingers into his temples and let the dull pain wash over him. It washed over all thought and all emotion as he continued to press his fingers harder and harder into his skull. No thought, no emotion, just the sweet pain. 

He would have pressed his fingers right through his skin had he not been started by sudden commotion outside of his room. He slowly rose from his bed and decided that it would be prudent to investigate.

He walked out onto the deck and everyone there was smiling. "What's going on?" Smith inquired. 

Someone turned to him and said, "We're nearing Zion. We're nearly home!"

A slow smile spread across Smith's face. Not for the same reason the other's were smiling but the fact that he would be the first machine to infiltrate into Zion. 

He stood there with trepidation as they approached the gate. He clenched his hands to his side to keep them from shaking. Sweat rolled down him as anxiety washed over him. He took note of this feeling, as disconcerting at it was, and decided to file it away for later analysis. 

As they docked the ship Smith looked around incredulously. _How can this be possible? _He thought. _They should never have let this exist. _He clenched his teeth together in contempt. He never would have thought Zion could be so large and flourish so. 

As he stepped out of the ship he was assaulted with warmth. He let it run over him and decided it was not such a bad feeling. Not nearly as bad as feelings like anxiety or even fear. He brushed those thoughts away quickly. He did not like them.

The Captain informed the whole crew he would contact them all when he needed and to go get some rest in their quarters. 

Smith vaguely could remember the location of his quarters. After all, when he assimilated a person he assimilated information from them as well. Not things such as emotions but details and information tended to be prevalent.

As Smith walked toward his quarters he though. _Look at all these disgusting humans. Get me away from them!_ He suddenly longed for the cold steel of his Desert Eagle in his hands. He started to entertain thoughts of picking them off one by one and watching them all flee in terror. This brought a grin to his face. 

As the Captain watched Bane go he held a perturbed expression on his face._ Ever since Bane has returned from that mission from the Oracle he has been acting very strange. _The Captain thought. _There was that episode of the puking and then his demeanor has been way off. Something must have happened to him while he was in there. It's true we saw something in the code but we couldn't decide exactly what it was. I'm going to keep a close eye on him. I know definitely something is wrong. I'm going to question him again about the mission later to see what I can get out of him. _

Smith picked his way through the crowd with a feeling of dread rolling over him. Humans all around him and there was nothing he could do about it. He longed to just take someone's head and crush it in his hands. Just crush it into dust. Every time someone managed touch him he pulled away as if stung by a viper. A couple of odd looks followed his direction as he began to increase his pace. He had to get out of there fast or else he was going to kill someone and then his whole cover would be blown. He had to complete his main objective first. Kill Neo.

Smith began to run as he neared his quarters. _Almost there. _He thought anxiously. His fists tightened into balls; nails digging into skin. He focused on the pain to keep his mind off the other emotion he felt. 

He burst through the door and closed it quickly behind him, locking it. He backed away from the door as if it would be knocked down any minute. He stood there and stared at it for a good long time until he finally realized it wasn't going to open and no one was going to come in. 

He let out a breath of relief and glanced around the room. _Look at me running from them like a scared animal. _He hated the way they made him feel. He had never felt like this inside of the Matrix. He would have killed them all already if they were in his world. Hate rose deep inside of him. Pure contempt rotting at his insides.

He looked to the right of him and saw a knife lying on a table. A crooked smile spread across his face and he reached for the blade. Just to hold a weapon in his hand again felt good. It made him feel more powerful. Of course in the Matrix he never needed a weapon. It was just more convenient for them. He stared at it for a long time, mesmerized by it's glow. Funny how something so simple, so human, could make him feel so. 

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I'm going to kill them all. One by one. They will suffer. They will die. I'm going to destroy all of this. Smith thought. Emotions bubbled inside of him, overpowering and affronting. He took the blade and stuck it in the flesh of his arm. The pain dulled his senses. _This body is so weak and disgusting. Look how easily I can destroy it. I hate this body. _He thought with contempt and he drug the blade across his arm. He watched the blood begin to seep from the wound. He rather liked the sight of blood actually. He connected it to times he enjoyed. The blood and the pain fascinated him. He had never felt pain once in his life. To watch the flesh being destroyed. To watch something he hated being destroyed, gave him pleasure.

The hate boiled his insides like a stew and suddenly he felt very weak. He glanced at the bed in the corner and it began to look very inviting. Funny how he suddenly gave into human impulses. _I'm becoming weak. _He spat. But as he thought that his knees began to buckle and he staggered towards the bed. He collapsed in a heap and let out a deep sigh. _I hate this. _He thought as he lay there in melancholy. 

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More chapters to come! What will happen to Smith next? How will human emotion effect him? Could he change for the better or worse? Stick around to find out!


	3. Chapter Three

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The sun arises but you cant see

There is no touch that makes you feel

You trap yourself in silent and awful dream

You lock the door and lost the key

That night Smith received a message of a large gathering. At first he considered not going. Having to deal with throngs of humans did not appeal to him. But after a while he conceded. It would be a good idea to find out what the humans were planning. He heard rumors of a speech announcing the current situation and he wanted to be present for that.

Smith tentatively made his way towards the temple where the gathering was to be held. He stayed as far away from miscellaneous humans as possible as he ambled on. 

One of the first things Smith had to deal with after entering this body was the need for food and drink. After spending so much time in the Matrix and observing humans day by day he was relatively sure he could handle the process on ingestion. The actual process itself was a whole other matter. He rummaged through his quarters looking for consumables and found a cooling device which stored perishables. He could not tell which one would be the best for consumption and decided any would do for this body's nutritional needs. 

The minute the food entered him mouth he spit it out. Never could he know something so vile existed. His first foray into the sense that was taste was not a good one. Little did he know the food he had eaten was rotten. He quickly tossed that aside and decided to look through the cabinets. His hand passed across a can with the image of food on it and he decided that would suffice. He held the closed container in his hand and stood puzzled, unable to decide how to proceed. At first he tried crushing the can in his bare hands, which turned out to be a failure. Then he glanced over at the knife on the table. He quickly grabbed it as he set the can on the table. He grasped the knife tightly as he drove the knife through the can over and over. He almost admitted to himself that he derived some sort of pleasure from that. The can was most definitely open. He took his finger and stuck it into the food and then stuck it in his mouth. This taste wasn't too bad, he decided as he took a bigger amount with his hand. 

When that process was over he looked at his hand covered in goop and decided it might have been prudent to use the eating utensils he so often saw the humans use. 

He was now aware of another feeling. He was thirsty. He looked around the room for something he remembered in the back of his mind and caught sight of a faucet. He quickly walked over to that as he turned the knob and stuck his whole mouth under the spurt of water. Somehow the consumption of this fluid felt strangely satisfying. 

That experience had been strange to him but little did he want to admit to himself, part of him enjoyed the process. He growled under his breath. He would never give into human impulses or desires. He only consumed the food because he was aware of the body's need for such things in order to stay alive. He would never admit to actually enjoying anything so _human. _

As he walked on towards the temple and began to notice the need for liquid once again. He subconsciously licked his lips at that thought.

He made his way into the front of the temple and immediately noticed the sheer number of people. The heat clung to the air thickly and ran down his body in beads. He tried to stay on the outside in order to avoid contact as much as possible. 

It seemed like everyone was excited. People had smiles on their faces and they seemed to enjoy the closeness of the area as they clung together. Some people were embraced together, others were kissing. But everyone was touching each other. It made Smith sick to just watch.

A group of people near him were especially loud as he turned his head towards them in disgust. He licked his lips again unconsciously as he glared at them. The heat was making him even more thirsty. 

One of the men in the group looked at him and laughed merrily. "Jesus, you look hot and thirsty." He said. "Here, take this." He handed Smith a skin and then slapped him gently on the shoulder. Smith recoiled from the contact as he grasped the container in his hand and glared at the group icily. They didn't even frown at him or ask him what was wrong, they just kept laughing very loudly.

Smith moved as far away from the obnoxious group as possible before he fumbled open the skin. He was terribly thirsty. He brought the skin to his lips and took a long hard swallow. He was very surprised at the taste he found. Slightly sweet and slightly sour with a tinge of bitterness and something else he was hard pressed to identify. In fact he didn't even know the words to describe what he was tasting, after all he had never tasted before. The liquid was bitter as it went down his throat but he was pretty thirsty. He knew there was something not quite right with what he was drinking. He couldn't name it but he just knew.

Councilor Hamman came out and everyone started cheering. Smith directed his attention towards the ledge in which he was standing on. As he started to give his speech anger burned in Smith's heart. Humans were so presumptuous. Smith thought. He wished he could kill them all right now. This thought brought a slight twinge of smile to the edge of his mouth as he raised the skin again to his mouth and continued to drink.

After Councilor Hamman was finished with his speech Morpheus rose to the ledge and the cavern was thundering with cheers and applause. Off to the side Smith sat there looking bitter. He had come so close to killing Morpheus so many times. How he wished to kill him now in front of all these stupid humans. He had almost had the codes for the Zion mainframe in his grasp and then Neo braved that foolish rescue attempt. Smith growled out loud at this thought as he continued to drink. But he wasn't an agent any more and he wasn't working for the machine mainframe any longer. He had his own agenda of destruction as well as something better then the codes to the Zion mainframe. Something much better. 

Smith had almost finished the skin and noticed he wasn't any closer to having his thirst quenched then when he started. In fact he was a lot thirstier. It was about half way through Morpheus's speech that Smith started to realize something was wrong. He felt strange; very strange. He was aware that his vision wasn't as quite as good any longer. Everything seemed blurry. All the people and lights danced in front of his eyes. A chill of fear went through his heart. _What's happening to me? _He thought. _ There's something wrong with this body. Terribly wrong. _

As Morpheus's speech came to a close and the cavern erupted in cheers, Smith dropped the water skin he was holding and desperately tried to grab onto something. His condition seemed to be getting worse by the minute. The was a sudden eruption of drums and the people in the cavern seemed to swirl before his eyes. _I have to get out of here. _Smith thought. _I think I'm going to be sick. _

He started to fumble his way along not even knowing where the exit was any more. Lights and colors were swirling before his eyes. The drums were pounding in his ears. It seemed as if the drums pounded in synchronicity with his heart which he could feel beating in his chest. It almost felt as if it were going to burst right out of his skin. The hot cavern suddenly seemed more stuffy as he gasped the air for breath. All he saw around him were people and he began to get a panicked feeling welling inside of him. _Where the hell is the exit?_ He thought anxiously. Sweat rolled down his body as the beat continued to pound in his ears. Over and over it went rolling over him in waves. He felt it touch his skin; vibrating and pulsing against him. All he could see around him were writhing bodies pulsating to the music and light dancing in front of his eyes. He fought to get away from it all. He couldn't stand the humanity any longer. But someone grabbed him by the arm and he was powerless to fight against it. He felt himself being dragged along. Suddenly all he could feel were hot bodies pressing up against him and everywhere he looked there were people. He could see no viable means of escape.

As the alcohol coursed through his veins he began to give into its lulling pull. He was no longer conscious of what was going on around him. The beat filled his ears inexorably and suddenly he found the rhythm in the beat pulling at him. He listened and he could hear the perfect synchronicity in it. It was absolutely perfect. He never realized it before but it was a true piece of creation. It tugged at his heart and he gave into it in complete and utter awe. 

Outside of his mind he was vaguely aware of the mass of humans around him. People were touching him and then someone kissed him. Had he been in any other state besides this altered one he would have torn that person apart with his bare hands. At the moment he did not care at all. People all around him were pushing him as they danced and he wove in and out of people in a drunken state. Someone grabbed him from behind and started to dance with him. She ran her hands across his bare arms and then up his chest as she pressed herself against him. Smith was indefinitely aware of the human contact but he could not even come to grips with what was happening. It didn't even feel all that bad. He thought. He should have been repulsed. After all he was being surrounded by the very things he hated. He was right smack in the middle of an infection of viruses and the last thing he wanted to do was become one. But his mind could not function properly. All the inhibitions he had of humans in general had been stripped away as he was pushed back and forth in the mass or wriggling bodies. 

Out of the corner of his eye he saw the exit he had so desperately been looking for earlier and he began to make for it. Hand were touching him all over as he began to press himself through the crowd. 

As he burst through the crowd a wave of air passed over his mud-caked, sweaty body and he gulped it in hungrily. The music continued to fill his ears and the lights suddenly seemed a lot brighter. Or were they becoming darker? He couldn't tell. He was looking for the exit but he suddenly had no idea where it was again. 

He couldn't even begin to comprehend all the thoughts and feelings he was having at the moment. He stood there braced against the wall as lights swirled everywhere in front of him. It was all blurry and suddenly he felt like falling. But he did not want to let go. The last thing he wanted was to lose control. But gravity won as he closed his eyes and collapsed on the cavern floor. Utter and complete darkness took over him. 

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So what did you all think? I knew writing Smithie drunk would be a blast, and it was! As always I accept constructive criticism and whatnot. Or even just a plain old review is fine. Oh no! It looks like Smithie is starting to have character development! *gasp* lol Many more chapters to come. Please look forward to it!


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